From phones in the air to rogue RSVPs, guest behavior at weddings is due for a serious glow-up. Whether it's an intimate ceremony or an extravagant celebration, couples pour their hearts, time, and significant financial resources into curating the perfect event. As a guest, your role might seem simple, but it’s absolutely crucial: honor their effort, be present, and bring your best energy. After all, you’re there to help make their big day even more memorable! Here’s your ultimate guide to being the kind of guest everyone - especially the couple - will be thrilled to have in the room.
DO...
✅ RSVP on Time
One of the simplest and most respectful things you can do is respond to your invitation promptly. A timely RSVP helps the couple secure an accurate guest count, which is essential for organizing seating, catering, and event logistics. When you confirm or decline your invitation, you're helping them avoid last-minute surprises and ensuring that everyone, from the kitchen staff to the wedding planner, can plan accordingly.
✅ Follow the Dress Code
"From classic black-tie to themed celebrations, couples are getting creative with their wedding day vibes - and they’re hoping guests will follow suit," notes Madison Henrie from Seattle Wedding Show. "More couples are including detailed dress code info on their invites or wedding websites, not to make things complicated, but to create a cohesive atmosphere for their big day. Ignoring the dress code - or worse, showing up in white - just isn’t it. Guests who embrace the couple’s vision help elevate the whole event. Think of it as part of the celebration - not a restriction, but an opportunity to be part of something beautiful."
✅ Arrive On Time
Punctuality is key! Arriving late for the ceremony or reception disrupts the flow of the day and may mean missing out on important moments. Aim to arrive at least 15 minutes early to give yourself time to settle in and enjoy the pre-ceremony atmosphere.
✅ Use Creative Transportation
"Why walk when you can ride in style?" says Jennifer Lazon from Suncadia Resort. Creative transportation, like golf carts decked out with streamers, flowers, and just-married signs, is a fun way to add extra joy to the day. As Lazon puts it, “A little joyride never hurt a love story.”
✅ Respect Unplugged Ceremonies
"Put your phone away, please!" urges Madison Henrie from Seattle Wedding Show. "There’s nothing worse than a sea of phones blocking the aisle during the ceremony. Unplugged ceremonies are not just a trend - they’re a thoughtful choice. Couples are asking guests to be fully present for the moment and leave the documentation to the professionals. Not only does it ensure better photos, but it also creates a more intimate and meaningful experience for everyone in the room. A quick photo at the reception? Totally fine. But when it’s time for 'I do,' the only thing you should be holding is your partner’s hand - or a tissue."
✅ Take Behind-the-Scenes Photos
A new trend gaining popularity is capturing candid moments during the wedding. As long as the couple hasn’t requested no photos, this is a fun way to offer a unique perspective on the celebration. "Couples love all of the BTS footage and content that guests capture from their perspective at their wedding!" states Danae Johnsen, Wedding and Event Planning Manager at Hyatt Regency Lake Washington at Seattle’s Southport, "Whether it’s by providing a digital camera for guests or using a service that allows them to upload their images, these behind-the-scenes shots create lasting memories." Just be sure to respect the couple’s wishes if they’ve asked for limited photography during certain moments.
✅ Respect the Seating Chart
Don’t try to move things around or switch seats. The couple has put a lot of thought into the seating arrangements, and respecting this plan helps avoid confusion or uncomfortable situations. It's all part of ensuring the day goes smoothly for everyone involved.
✅ Be Mindful of the Open Bar
If the wedding includes an open bar, drink responsibly. Everyone is there to have a good time, but excessive drinking can quickly become a problem. Be conscious of how much you're consuming, and don’t overdo it—it’s important to keep the fun balanced and the mood light.
✅ Be Clear and Honest About Dietary Needs
If you have dietary restrictions or preferences, communicate them early. This helps the couple and caterers ensure everyone is well-fed and happy, without any last-minute surprises.
DON'T...
🚫 Bring an Uninvited Plus-One
While it might feel like a last-minute decision to bring a guest, Danae Johnsen of Hyatt Regency Lake Washington at Seattle’s Southport points out that showing up with someone who wasn’t invited can disrupt the couple’s planning and budget. If you’re unsure whether you were given a plus-one, it’s always best to double-check with the couple or the event coordinator before making any assumptions.
🚫 Wear White
(or Anything Too Close to White)
White, ivory, and other pale shades should be avoided - those colors are reserved for the bride. You don’t want to outshine the bride on her special day! Stick to other beautiful hues that complement the theme without drawing attention away from the main event.
🚫 Ignore RSVP Deadlines (or Show Up Without Responding)
A missing RSVP means the couple has to scramble to accommodate you, potentially upsetting the seating arrangements, catering and more. Always respond to invitations promptly!
🚫 Show Up Early
Arriving too early can cause unnecessary disruptions and put pressure on the event staff. While it’s important to be punctual, showing up well before the recommended arrival time can get in the way of last-minute preparations, like setting up seating or organizing decor. Aim to arrive at the suggested time so you don’t unintentionally disrupt the flow of the event. Giving the couple and vendors the time they need to finalize things will ensure you can enjoy the celebration without causing any unnecessary stress.
🚫 Criticize the Ceremony or Reception
Whether or not you like the food, the music or the décor, keep your opinions to yourself. It’s the couple’s special day, and they’ve put a lot of thought into every detail. If something isn’t to your taste, it’s best to focus on the celebration and not dwell on minor details.
🚫 Let Your Kids Roam Unattended
"Sure, you're at a reception and everyone is having a great time but if you brought your little one your number one priority is still them," states Dan Merscher from Indian Summer Golf and Country Club. “Kids like to cut loose and dance just like the rest of us, but that doesn't mean they can be left unattended. Getting caught up in the excitement is all part of the fun of celebrating but when a five-year-old sees a massive cake, you better be aware of where they are at all times ... speaking from experience."
🚫 Overindulge at The Bar
While it's great to enjoy a drink or two, excessive alcohol can lead to a less-than-ideal guest experience. From slurring speeches to uninvited dance floor “performances,” overdoing it can leave a bad impression
🚫 Grab Dessert Before the Couple
Did you know that it's considered poor etiquette to take from the dessert bar before the couple has had their moment to cut the cake or enjoy their favorite treats? As Danae Johnsen of Hyatt Regency Lake Washington at Seattle’s Southport, explains, allowing the newlyweds to share that special moment first ensures they’re able to savor their celebration without any distractions. So, hold off on the sweets until they’ve had their turn!
🚫 Snag Decor
Those gorgeous floral arrangements aren't party favors (unless stated otherwise). Unless explicitly mentioned, don’t assume you can take home any of the floral decor. Taking items without permission can lead to the couple incurring extra charges for missing pieces.
Photo by Brant Photography courtesy of Indian Summer Golf and Country Club
